Went To The Auction

Hey, I went to the 2nd annual OCS Auction.  Great things to auction and want.  Lots of great food.  The best part of the food was it was loaded with items that promoted something less than optimal health.

Interestingly, there were very few people there.  Well, I wonder why.  Why were there so few people at the auction?  Here are some reasons that people have given in the past for not attending school events that cost money.  If you don't want to read my opinions then stop reading at this very moment!

#1  I have so much on my plate that I couldn't squeeze in a silly old auction.
      PLEASE!  YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.  I'M TIRED OF THE EXCUSE, "MY PLATE IS
      ALREADY TOO FULL!"  THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE 250 CHANNELS ON THEIR
      TV PACKAGE.  THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT WATCH AMERICAN IDOL.  THESE ARE
      PEOPLE THAT SHOP FOR EXERCISE.  THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE EITHER
      POLISHING THEIR CAR OR THEIR SILVERWARE.  TAKE SOMETHING OFF YOUR PLATE
      BEFORE YOU SPILL THE TRUTH.
#2  I don't like auctions.
      OH, I SEE, EVERY FUNDRAISER HAS TO BE THE ONE YOU PARTICULARLY LIKE.  SO
      BE SURE AND LET THE SCHOOL BOARD OR THE PEOPLE WHO WORKED HARD AT
      PUTTING ON THE AUCTION KNOW JUST EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF A FUND-
      RAISER YOU REALLY THINK IS COOL AND FUN-AND THAT YOU LIKE!!!!
#3 I'm really tired by the time Sunday night rolls along, and I can't drag myself to one more event.
     LET'S SEE, I HOPE THOSE AREN'T THE PEOPLE WHO TRAVEL OFF ISLAND TO
     SPORTING EVENTS, OR TO SEE A MOVIE AT THE MALL.  I HOPE THOSE AREN'T THE
     PEOPLE WHO GO HOME AFTER CHURCH AND EAT A HUGE MEAL, TAKE A SNOOZE,
     DRINK SOME LEMONADE, WATCH A MOVIE ON NETFLIX, EAT THE LEFT OVER
     DESERT, AND THEN HEAD TO BED.  BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE REALLY ARE TIRED
     BY THE TIME SUNDAY NIGHT ROLLS ALONG.
#4 BUT MY FAVORITE IS: I couldn't afford the $25 it cost to get into this event.
     NOW EVEN THOUGH I DON'T CARE IF I MAKE SOMEONE MAD WITH MY PREVIOUS
     ANSWERS, I WANT TO SAY RIGHT HERE THAT FOR SOME PEOPLE $25 IS A LOT OF
     TO ENTER AN AUCTION AND EATS TONS OF SWEETS, LOOK AT ODD OBJECTS AND
     THEN GO HOME.
     BUT PLEASE, THE REST OF YOU...SHAME ON YOU FOR EVEN HAVING THAT THOUGHT!
     WOW!  HOW FRUSTRATING TO HEAR THAT WHEN SOMEONE JUST GOT BACK FROM
     VISITING PARIS!  WOW! I LOVE THE THREE TO FOUR CARS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY! 
     WOW!  I LOVE YOUR 3000 SQUARE FOOT HOUSE.  HOW COOL!  YOU WERE ABLE TO
     FLY AWAY DURING SPRING BREAK (YES, I KNOW, YOU FOUND THE CHEAPEST
     TICKETS-AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GONE ANYWHERE IF YOU HADN'T FOUND
     THEM JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!!!!).  SUPER!  YOU FOUND SOME NEW CLOTHES
     WITH THE LABEL, COLUMBIA, NORDSTROM, NORTHFACE, OAKLEY, AND _________.
     AND FORTUNATELY THE 25 PAIRS OF SHOES IN YOUR CLOSET WILL KEEP YOU IN     
     STYLE DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS.  TELL ME ANYTHING, BUT DON'T TELL
     ME YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT!!!!

     HAVE A GREAT WEEK!  WHEN WILL I SEE THE BLUE RABBIT AND THE OTHER PERSON
WHO KEEPS CHANGING HER BY LINE?

CALM AND CALMER